Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
