Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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