she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize