You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
there is puke in my bra ... again
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