I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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