If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
