Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
