...so i touched it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize