So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Randomize
