rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
