you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
