Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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