Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
