Where is the hickey?
he shaved USA in his pubs
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
