I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
