so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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