im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
