never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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