i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize