he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
