Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
