i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
