You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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