just tell him i said nine months
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
