I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
