girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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