I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
