we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
