Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
