I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize