I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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