New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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