So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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