How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
