O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
