This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
