Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
