They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
