Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
