i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
