I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
