Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
