just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
