the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
