I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i love accidental penises.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They have beer where we have blood.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
