Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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