Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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