Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize