The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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