If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
