she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
