Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
