To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
