Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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