my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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