To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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