and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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