Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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