Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
