Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
