she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
