a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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