Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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