At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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