my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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