before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
